My name is Kelly. I am the "Mayor" of Bust, CO. I have a "Deputy Mayor" who will be monitoring boulders/rocks soon. Have y'all seen some of these boulders/rocks? They look suspiciously precarious. Gravity is just like this real thing, And they're waiting to obey the laws of said real thing. That is sups scary. We've all seen a black bear running across a mountain clearing at full speed, and I've been told boulders and rocks can run twice as fast. Heck, maybe even three times as fast! Let's keep rocks from achieving warp speed. Together.
We are also careful in our endeavors to not disrupt boulders/rocks inhabited by spirits. They are clearly monitoring themselves and do not need to be reported. Please stay away from those, people have a habit of not returning after trying to have a casual chat with them.
I am Bustin' proud to announce the town of Bust, CO has a new Deputy Mayor, Sammie! Please welcome Sammie with the same warmth you have shown to me, Your Honorable Mayor. Sammie will be pivotal in their role to monitor them boulders/rocks with the same voracity you have come to know and love. Welcome, Sammie Sams!
I am once again Bustin' proud to announce that our infrastructure has once again expanded! Please welcome our new Sheriff, Danielle! Danielle is coming to us from a strong background of not taking any crap and will be ensuring no crap is happening on her watch, which is 24/7 and ever- vigilant. Danielle also has a solid background in kicking butt and taking names. We take the security of Bust very, very, very seriously and know this addition will add another very to how seriously we take security. Welcome, Danielle Danington Daninger IV!